Today has been such a blah, twilight zone kind of day. And yet it has been so wonderful. My heart has been aching since I learned this morning that baby Gavin passed away. I have felt so numb, quite exhausted emotionally, and yet so grateful. Gavins mom has a way of writing that is so deep, so real, and I have literally felt her pain from one mommy heart to another. I cannot pretend that my faith would match hers and I have been so touched by her testimony of Christ and eternal families.
It ended up being a day for me of reflection. Not anything I planned or any time set aside for reflecting, but more of just a peace and comfort while doing homework, and during bathtime, and even when Shalye diarrhead all over the floor. I just could not tell my kids enough how much I loved them. I was smothering them I am sure! I was just so happy to be able to have them, and hold them, and tell them I love them. And then my heart would ache again. Deeply. For Natalie. It pained me to know that she would not be able to do the same with Gavin. For now. I pray for peace to her broken soul.
I am so grateful for the blessings I have in my life, especially the little ones that cause me to lose my temper way too often. Tonight I was just feeling blessed and soaking up every little minute. So tonight everyone, slow down, hug your little ones and tell them you love them a million times. And even your big ones too!
Beautifully said. I love to read your words as you express your feelings. I am very grateful for each of my kids and grandkids and am so grateful we were able to spend Christmas together. You're such a good mommy and I love seeing my kids as parents. You really rise to the task and I'm so proud of you.
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